Stable... or so it seems.

Ok- well, I guess I'm pretty stable... though not necessarily in the best way anymore. *sigh* I don't know- I guess I'll sorta glaze everything: meant in both senses: touch everything, and yet also sugar coat it: and I'm sorry, but ... it's still sorta hard to face some stuff going on now, let alone tell you it, so...

ok- well- bipolar is kicking in again: but like... i think it's mainly because of all the stress there was on me this past week; speaking of, so has ocd *laughs* you should have seen me on thursday obsessing over the pentagram. and friday and saturday over people's uniforms during the football game and war memorial. it was great.

anorexia and bulemia... well... i haven't been obsessive on that, though i am holding back on eating as much as i should be. i was doing fine... then this past week with all the stress of school and home and... *sigh*... so yeah.

as for my parents: they better watch out: one more time and ... ooh... they don't even want to know.

*sigh* i guess everything else is... tolerable? i would love to say I'm dealing with it. i can't. i am really only supressing it- and we all know how well that works with me: i seem fine for a while, then end up breaking down somehow or another. Frankly I don't know how to deal with this crap: i'm not sure I ever did. There's just so much going on... I don't know what to do anymore about any of it. I feel so hopeless and desolate... blah. I'm supressing everything so much I'm not even sure exactly what's wrong anymore. It feels like there's nothing to look forward to... i just wish I had something to look forward to at least. *sigh* bleh: i don't know. whatever. i guess i'll just continue "dealing" with everything or whatever. *shrug*