'There's no place like home...'

I feel as though I've been living in a dream world for the past couple of years. Now I'm stepping back into reality. Reality feels like an effing brick wall to me. Everything feel so out of place, or maybe I'm out of place compared to everything. Either way, one thing is going to have to alter to fit the other. Not that it is going to have to CHANGE completely, just... alter a bit. since everything is more than one thing, I think I am going to be the one altering. Not anything drastic, but just to cope with the difference between my Oz and Kansas. Except that I didn't want to go back to Auntie Em.

Making a Choice...

I am finally at the crossroads. I can feel it now. The light is red, so I can't go yet. I have one more thing to finish. I know what it is. In any case, I can see all my choices. They all go uphill and disappear over the crest. I can see what's in my immediate future, but no further. Maybe that's a good thing though. I think it is. In any case, I don't know whether it leads to an "end of road" sign or possibly another 4-way intersection. Or if it does something completely different. Whichever one I choose, I have to pick before the light turns green, or I'll get run over by the traffic behind me.

Last Dayz Alwayz End In New Beginningz

Today was the last day of school before the X-mas break. It feels as though I lost something. Strange, it almost feels as though it were my last day at school, period. As if I were going to go through some big change over the holidays. Either that or never go back. I highly doubt the second one though. I just feel this complete sense of loss, and yet, also, ... a different type of euphoria. It's as if this section of my so-called "life" is coming to a close. But around the bend is a blind turn. I can't tell, yet, whether it leads to a brick wall at the back of an alley or a whole different array of directions that I cold take. But if I listen hard, I think I can hear the sound of city traffic.

Just A Different View

All of a sudden, my view has been changing. That is mainly what I'm going to write about in this blog. The other one (victoriouzdefeatz.blogspot.com) will be more of just various day to day observations. This one will be more, ... "deep profound" things. It just seems that I was seeing the world in black and white, and now there's all different shades of gray and other colors, and everything's all wacky now. Not that that's a bad thing, probably good. But it is just, different. And I need to examine all of it before I continue making other life-altering changes with myself. But that's what life's about, isn't it? Change and adjustment. I'm just going through one of the most complicated ones ever right now.