Gone, or Just Hiding in the Background

So, I haven't had trouble eating, I haven't been cutting, or burning, or any other self-mutilation. Drugs are gone completely, as is smoking, and drinking. I have had nothing bad actually happening lately.

...Why not?
I mean, ok: so being with Michael has definitely helped some things. But can simply dating somebody cure you of 5 years of shit? Mental and emotional crap, all just going out the window, just because somebody goes, "wanna go out with me" and you say "yes"???? It doesn't work that way! And yes, I know dating Michael is so much more than those 6 words. But still.

The thing is, I still don't like how I look. I've had some urges to burn, but not cut. Drugs, smoking, drinking: not particularly. i still randomly get depressed, or go through these weird hyper cycles. The voices are still in my head, but they're behind a glass wall. I know what they're saying, as if I can read their lips, but I can choose to turn away and ignore them. Sometimes they bang on the glass, reminding me that they're there, but that's the extent to which it goes.

I should be happy about this. I'm not.

I got so used to having those things, and dealing with them, and sadly enough, depending on them. Now all I can depend on is myself and others. And that is really hard for me. As much as I have been hurt and betrayed by others, It's hard for me to rely on them. Not to mention myself. That's one of the hardest things of all.

Things should start getting really interesting now though. To say the least.