its been a really long time...

it has been a long time, hasn't it??? so much has happened. i came extremely close to just doing it (you know what i mean) a couple weeks ago. i haven't seen my shrink since may 3, and my next appt is june 20. apparently i have developed a paranoia pd (personality disorder) and my ocd is up. i just have to do everything perfectly now- i am never satisfied with anything anymore. im sorta freaking out bc so much is happening in such a little time. i cut about 2 wks ago. my anorexia isn't much better. bulemia is threatening to rear its ugly head again. ugh. so much to deal with. i guess i'll just have to try harder to cope with everything. its just so much and its so overwhelming... *sighs* oh well. what can i say? the price of being insane.